Throughout the semester, I have been slightly overwhelmed by all the activity and dialog that occurs at Girls Incorporated during the weekly three-hour shift that I am there. I feel as if I have a dual purpose for being there - I am a volunteer/service-learner and I am also a researcher/ethnographer. To the girls, I am a volunteer, just like all the others. Even to Erin and Lucy, who know I was introduced to Girls Inc through a service-learning class, treat me the same as all of their other committed volunteers (who they refer to as "staff"). I think that their view of me as a staff member has affected the note-taking process and the content of my fieldnotes.
I normally do not take fieldnotes while at Girls Inc. To me, it seems like there is too much to be done (the ratio of girls to staff is very high) and I would prefer to be involved while I am there. Luckily, there are occasional calm times when I am able to just sit down and observe. When I first arrive at the center, there are usually only a couple teens there. We sit and chat for a while - I always feel as if our conversations foreshadow the way the rest of the day will go. Then, after the chaos of snack time and clean up time, the girls split up into groups based on their desired activities. I can usually choose which group I go with depending on my mood or on my curiosity for the day. The gymnasium can be fun, but it is often too hectic for me really think about what I am seeing. Lately, I've chosen to stay in the center so that I can talk and play with a few girls in a slightly calmer setting.
After I get home from Girls Inc, I try to write down as much detail about the three hours as I can. Most of my notes are about interactions I have with the girls and staff, or interactions I observe. In reference to Sustein and Chiseri-Starter's Fieldworking, I find that most of my fieldnotes revolved around the following questions:
- What surprised me?
- What intrigued me?
- What's going on here?
I also have noticed that my notes seem to place great value in the spoken word; perhaps I find it hard to read the girls' body language, or perhaps because they rarely seem to sit still. I often find that things the girls say surprise me, intrigue me, and give me a sense of what goes on at Girls Inc and what goes on in their individual lives. One (implicit) idea that I have gathered from listening to the girls is that they seem to crave individual attention, which may stem from them feeling as if they lack control over their lives. It doesn't take much to get one of the girls to dish on everything that happened at school today and what their plans are for the weekend. Some of the girls even tell me about their friends, family members, and home life. The rapid-fire conversations I have with them are animated, often with two or more girls try to talk over each other. As I sit there trying to decipher five concurrent conversations, I realize that these girls don't receive much individual attention here, and who knows if they do or not at home?
I'm not yet sure of the connection between individual attention and a feeling of control, but I do think that these girls would benefit from more one-on-one activities (or at least a lower ratio), as well as more responsibility and control over their actions and activities. It's not as if Girls Inc keeps these girls on lock down, and maybe it's because I am only there on Fridays, but I see many of the girls frustrated or acting out for attention because they're not doing something they want to do.
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